AGAINST:
Commercial exploitation
Forced heightened expenditure
Peer pressure
Popularity segregation
Showy and public
Expected
Fear of rejection or unreciprocated feelings
Receiving an unwanted card
Shouldn’t need a fixed date for love
FOR:
Well no, we shouldn’t need a fixed date to express an important sentiment, and love should be spontaneous and constant and a healthy balance of give and take in the perfect relationship BUT as we all know life has a funny way of throwing mundane and really-not-that–important-on-retrospect stuff in the way daily. Valentine’s Day, like any holiday, is a chance to take stock and make sure nothing does get in the way, therefore ensuring we do at least annually have one day we take the time to say and show we care.
As for fear of rejection or unreciprocated feelings – take a chance. Worse scenario is that the fairy tale is over leaving you all the sooner ready to find a real fairy tale, and best scenario is that yes this is the real deal that you’ve thankfully started sooner by initiating things. If you really are too scared then remember the tradition of the day and send something anonymous. Take pleasure in letting them know you love them without the selfish need for reciprocation. It is usually in life, though admittedly not always, those things that we didn’t do and wonder ‘what if?’ about, that we regret more than chances taken, even if they do fail! Shoe on the other foot and you are the recipient of an unwanted card, ignore but don't ridicule and hope that they find happiness elsewhere. At least from your lack of response hopefully they will all the sooner move on.
Is expected such a bad thing? Your partner is enthusiastic and likes you making a fuss. Yes peer pressure adds to the expectation and those people that are seen as popular and pretty get segregated into elitism throughout life but there has to be a balance. If the expectation is too high and for a showy public recognition rather than an intimate exchange or celebration then there are bigger issues than Valentine’s Day to be dealt with. You can be intimate in your sentiment while celebrating with thousands of others on a very public day. Ignore what others think and are doing and enjoy in the way that suits you whether popular or unusual, corny or different.
As soon as something is popular you will have pressure and segregation for only a lucky few to achieve. By nature humans are sociable mating creatures and the desire to love and be loved makes the world go round. This is not a debate about single versus partner but whether we should participate in Valentine’s Day or not. You don’t have to boycott the day and its core sentiment because it is popular; ultimately you lose out so rather do your own thing.
Commercial exploitation and ensuing heightened prices are unfortunately inevitable but not unavoidable at least for those with imagination; pick a flower, make a card, cook a meal.
The three key elements are: time, effort, thought.
Time can be pressed, effort can be pre-cursed with insecurity of ability but thought just involves listening to your loved one and taking note of what they like, or, what makes them happy. If a purchase is involved chances are it won’t fall into the remit of commercial exploitation and forced heightened expenditure of things associated with Valentine’s Day as it will be unique to them. If their tastes or pleasures are expensive there are always interpretations that again with a little thought can prove you care, know what they like, listen and love them.
A final note - thank you to the sender of my anonymous card last year that sparked a relationship and wonderful past year and to celebrating a rather lovely Valentine's Day in our unique way this year x
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